Raising happy and well-behaved toddlers
The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful, and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old by Harvey Karp, M.D.
Click here to purchase The Happiest Toddler on the Block: How to Eliminate Tantrums and Raise a Patient, Respectful, and Cooperative One- to Four-Year-Old: Revised Edition
For years, I have read excellent reviews of Karp’s book The Happiest Baby on the Block but my baby was an easy baby so I never bought that one. However, when my two year old had his first tantrum, I bought this book ASAP! I had no idea my sweet little baby could get so mad! (Good thing I’m a fast reader ) The main idea behind this book is that your toddler has the emotional and communication skills of a cave man. We simply cannot expect them to understand things the way we do and their brains are not wired for them to be treated like miniature people. Fortunately, as a doctor, Karp has lots of experience dealing with frustrated children, so he shares his tips and tricks for calming them and getting them to do what he needs for them to do. He teaches us how to communicate with them in ways they can understand. I have tried many of the ideas in the book and they are very helpful. However, it doesn’t hurt to skim through it every once in a while. This book was a bestseller and the cover is filled with glowing reviews.
Here are the chapter titles:
Part One: The Happiest Toddler: Toddler/Parent Basics
1. Toddler Basics: The Gentle Art of Civilizing a Toddler
2. Parenting Basics: The Lowdown on Bringing Up a Toddler
Part Two: Connect with Respect: Toddler Communication Basics
3. The “Fast Food Rule”: The Golden Rule of Communication
4. “Toddler-ese”: A Talking Style That Really Works!
Part Three: Behavior Basics: Raise a Great Child the Green-Yellow-Red-Light Way
5. Green-Light Behaviors: How to Encourage Good Behavior
6. Yellow-Light Behaviors: How to Curb Annoying Behavior
7. Red-Light Behaviors: How to Put the Brakes on Bad Behavior
Part Four: How Do I Handle This One?
8. Taming Tantrums…Like Magic!
9. Real Answers to Common Problems
Karp begins by telling us a bit about toddler brains and development and how they differ from adult brains–specifically in that they are more emotional. He gives ideas about how to talk to your child so your child feels like you are listening–sometimes fixing their problems isn’t as important as hearing them and acknowledging their frustration. One tip includes repeating your child’s desires back to them so they know you are listening…that doesn’t mean you have to give in though. He gives ideas for taming a tantrum. For example, you want to echo your child’s wishes with emotion–but at one third of the volume. When you communicate in their “language,” they will settle down and hear you so that you can tone down the frustration, acknowledge it and then guide your child the right way. Finally, he tackles specific behaviors–how to encourage the good things and stop the dangerous actions. Towards the end is a section about working on common problems. There is so much great information in this book, I can’t even begin to describe it! But, I know it has worked for me with my toddler, (and would work even better if I were more dedicated to the techniques,) and Karp’s explanations for his techniques really help you understand and appreciate how to talk to your toddler. He really has some good experience and tips!
Build your child up and give him or her lots of positive attention when he or she is behaving well.Getting the right attention helps prevent tantrums.
Stay patient and remember your child does not have a fully-developed brain. He or she is a little cave person!
Make sure your child knows that you are hearing what they have to say.