Divorcing a Narcissist: One Mom’s Battle by Tina Swithin


Divorcing a Narcissist: One Mom’s Battle by Tina Swithin


Click here to purchase Divorcing a Narcissist – One Mom’s Battle

I wouldn’t say this is a true “self-help” book because the first part is mostly the story of the events leading up to a custody/visitation battle; however it is definitely a book to read if you are divorcing a narcissist or have fear for your children’s safety due to an abusive or neglectful narcissistic parent. This is a very popular book that accompanies a thriving blog and is considered a “must-read” by many people, (mostly women,) in support groups. I can’t promise you it is a completely positive book; however, I believe it ends on a hopeful note. As someone divorced from a narcissist, I found that my ex-husband was far more abusive to me than the author described her ex-husband was with her. So when I read the horrible incidents she had to deal with and the lies and games she experienced with her ex, I thought “oh great! If her less abusive spouse can get this crazy, what will my really abusive spouse do?!” Of course, for all I know, maybe toned it down for the sake of protecting her family or maybe just to get to the bigger picture. Personally, my experience was so bad, I was out in under two months. There was not one single good day after the wedding. It was all fear and confusion at the change in his personality. On the other hand, her ex-husband acted out far more obviously than mine. Although hers was just as talented at avoiding responsibilities while claiming to care, hers also committed obviously neglectful acts, whereas mine road rages and verbally attacks with some rough physical behavior. So, I found myself comparing the situations and wondering how my narcissistic ex will behave in the future.  If nothing else, this book gave me some clues, as well as some strong ideas for protecting my child and making the problem clear if needed.

The chapter titles are:
Tina’s Story
Seth’s Parents: Leonard and Cleo
The Narc De-Coder
Tina’s Tips
Acceptance and ForgivenessThe Family Court System Love Gratitude


 

Swithin describes being stalked, robbed and slandered as well as hearing first-hand accounts of abuse and neglect that her daughters related to her. She knew all these horrible things indicated that she was dealing with a dangerous person, yet the courts didn’t always comprehend the depth of the situation. That is what life is like with a narcissist. If you haven’t had to deal with one, then let me tell you it is absolutely NOTHING like a regular argument or divorce. Instead, it’s like having a hurricane rage through your life and tear it apart with no remorse. The author needed to communicate just how toxic this person was and how her daughters were not safe with unsupervised visitation. This took/takes a series of court dates–some with positive endings and some with negative outcomes. The story gives you faith that some things will go right and eventually the truth will come out, but it also keeps you alert to just how bad a battle with a narcissist can be. I would definitely recommend this book to someone dealing with this same situation, but it might also be of interest to anyone who wants to understand how personality disorders affect families or how they look in “real life.”

Lasting Lessons: Remember that there will be good days and bad days Stay organized, calm and focused Keep faith that the truth will prevail Don’t be afraid to use your resources–including people who know you and your character

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