Recovering after a break up
It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken: The Smart Girl’s Breakup Buddy by Greg Behrendt and Amiira Ruotola-Behrendt
I think just the title of this book says so much. I’ve quoted it to many of my female friends who are missing their exes or going through on-and-off relationships. I remind them that if it was broken enough for them to break up, then they need to stay broken up. That simple! No need to repeat the misery! That said, I think this book is a must-have for someone who is having trouble accepting a break up. It’s straight-forward and it tells you exactly what the facts are. The advice is excellent and the tips for moving on are great. Plus, the book is fun and easy-to-read. The authors are married and they give their real-life examples of bad break-ups but also give you hope, because hey, they are married and cute and happy. Throughout the book, there are lots of little side-trips like examples, confessionals, lists, games, and more. If you aren’t someone who really enjoys reading, this book keeps moving to catch your attention.
The chapter titles are:
Part One–The Breakup
1. It’s Called a Breakup Because It’s Broken
2. There Are No New Messages
3. He’s Not Hiding at the Bottom of That Pint of Ice Cream
4. If You Mention His Name One More Time…
5. Stop Calling In Sick
6. If He Was So Great, You’d Still Be Together
7. Fancy Meeting You Here!
8. What’s He Thinking?
Part Two–The Breakover
1. Don’t See Him or Talk to Him for Sixty Days
2. Get Yourself a Breakup Buddy
3. Get Rid of His Stuff and the Things That Remind You of Him
4. Get Your Ass In Motion Every Day
5. Don’t Wear Your Breakup Out Into the World
6. No Backsliding!
7. It Won’t Work Unless You Are Number One!
and a bonus chapter:
Dude, Get Off Her Lawn
This book is really a “tough love” type of book. Unlike our sometimes well-meaning friends, these authors do not try to give you hope that you can mend your break up. Instead, they get real with you and remind you that, if someone dumps you, they’ve already given up on you and it’s not worth your time to cling to them. Nor is it worth your dignity! They remind you not to sit around waiting and being miserable, not to give up your life and not to get stuck thinking about your ex all the time. The truth is, the person who dumps you probably isn’t thinking of you at all.
In the second part of the book, the chapters are listed as commandments–rules about what you should or shouldn’t do to move on in a healthy manner. This includes things such as cutting contact for at least sixty days which allows you to get past your most vulnerable moments and avoid making a fool of yourself. While this book is mostly aimed at women, there is a chapter for men who are stuck on an ex. I highly recommend this book if you are having a hard time with a breakup and I guarantee if you follow their advice, you will learn to respect yourself and come out the other side a happier person. It’s good advice! I read this book maybe six years ago when I was leaving a bad relationship, yet still wanted to keep trying with that ex. It was hard to accept the authors’ advice then, but I remembered it the next time I went through a breakup because I knew it had all proven true before. It definitely makes things easier as you learn these life lessons.