The Rules dating advice
All the Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right
Click here to purchase All the Rules: Time-tested Secrets for Capturing the Heart of Mr. Right
Whenever one of my female friends tells me about a guy she’s dating, (or dated,) who seems to have lost interest, I recommend this book–especially if she’s going overboard trying to get the guy’s attention! I always say you do NOT want someone who doesn’t want you! I believe the number one thing you should first look for in a relationship is their ability to like you back. If they can’t like you back, then clearly they are lacking an important part of your “relationship,” so it’s time to move on. But it never fails, so many of my friends continue thinking they are going to charm the guy or convince him that he is crazy about them. Nope. Not going to happen. So if you are single and dating, you might as well save some time and read “The Rules” first.
Now, when I recommend this book, I get mixed reactions. Some women seem hesitant to read it because they think it’s about game-playing. I say it’s not. I think it’s about maintaining your wisdom and dignity and not getting so caught up in a boyfriend that you lose yourself. I think the “techniques” the authors recommend are things that come naturally to a healthy and fulfilled woman–and that’s the woman you should be! Plus, there’s the hard fact of life that humans often, if not usually, initially react to each other based on appearance. I think we all want to feel attracted to our partners. For some of us, that attraction comes in time, but for others, if it isn’t there to begin with, it never will be. In fact, that’s the reasoning behind the “rule” that a woman should never approach a man first. If the man isn’t interested enough to want to know more, then he’s always just going to go along with the woman without ever feeling excited about her. But what about shy men? Quite honestly, in my own experience, even a shy man will get up enough nerve to talk to a woman. And every time I’ve decided not to follow the rules? I end up feeling more desperate than desired. How many times do I need to learn this lesson? 😉
Here are the chapter titles for the original “The Rules” book:
1. The History of The Rules
2. What are The Rules?
3. Meet a Rules Girl
4. But First the Product–You!
Then the book goes on to list the 35 “rules,” but I won’t give them all away here 🙂
I have a theory…okay it’s a lesson I’ve learned and I’ve read many other theories about it: People treat you the way you teach them to treat you. If you belittle yourself and act like a doormat, guess what value you’ve just given yourself? Yep. You’ve set a precedent. While it may not seem nice, women who demand more, often get more. I think you need to find a moderation point where you value yourself and ask others to value you without being a selfish and narcissistic person. And I think that is exactly what The Rules teach you to do.
Lasting Lessons:
Value yourself
Don’t obsess about your date and contact them more than they do you
Don’t give up your life or drop everything when someone asks you out
Don’t get stuck waiting for a man to change his mind