Learning to trust and be supportive of the right people
I’ve lived with myself nearly 40 years, and I frequently discover I’m good at things I never realized I was good at. As I’ve mentioned before, sometimes we believe what others or society tell us we are instead of really thinking about the truth.
Lately, I’ve been frustrated by some friends who let me down in a very bad way. And I’ve thought about how much I supported them over the years only for them to drop out right when I was needing friends and a support system the most. Some friends. I’ve thought about how much I regret putting myself on the line to defend their reputations. It’s hard to know who to trust, and I’ve written before that I often do so much for people who do so little for me. Why are we so backwards this way? Idealizing people who don’t care about us, but neglecting those who do?
While I was pondering these things, (and mentally telling off my backstabbing former friend!) It hit me that I’m a very supportive person. When something helps me or someone helps me, I want to let others know so the helper can benefit and get the kudos they deserve. If I find an artist or musician I really like, I share their work–hoping they can make more sales. If one of my friends is the target of gossip or a bully, I jump in and take hits to defend them. (Figuratively, not literally. I am soo not a fighter!)
When you’re a doormat like I *used* to be, and you pick the wrong people to defend and support, this is not really a good thing, but as I learn to be more astute, trust the right people and value my real friends instead of being fooled by false friends, I think this hidden talent of mine is actually a really good thing.