Life As You Make It

I recently gave up a great job because it wasn’t a good fit for my family’s needs. I am a single mom to two little ones, and every time they got sick, I couldn’t take them to daycare. I had nowhere to turn and no one to help me out on short notice. Plus, I struggled to make various doctors appointments and other events. Most importantly, I felt like I was missing life! So, I took the plunge to quit my job and be completely self-employed. I had been working from home quite a bit on multiple business ideas, and they were slowly growing, but I decided now was the time! I haven’t had a job in two months, but my business goals are sustaining us and growing quickly now that I’ve made my part-time dream a full-time reality.

There’s Not Enough Time: . . . and other lies we tell ourselves.

I love that I can stay home with my kids when they get sick without worrying about losing my job or losing pay. I love that I can live my life during the day time and work on my own terms at night. I have so much more freedom! But…I also have stress. Starting a business takes devotion and I have three great ideas in the fire right now. Plus, I’m still the only parent and breadwinner. I’m the housekeeper, the pet caretaker, the driver, the cook and more. So, I’m super busy, and it’s important that I get things done without procrastinating. It’s a struggle to balance my time and make the most of it.

Lately, I’ve been trying new ways to work everything in each day and still have time to relax at the end. It’s working well! I usually have a long to-do list, and I check off the things I get done. But, the to-do list is always growing with new things to replace what I get done.

So…I have a new idea to help stay encouraged! At the end of the day, I am taking the time to list what I DID get done. No more stressing about only what didn’t get done, but also taking the time to appreciate what did. As I look at my list, I think “wow,” I really did well today, and it inspires me for the next day. It is a good way to keep a clear view of what I’m accomplishing and how I’m getting ahead. It keeps me from getting down in the dumps thinking about how I “failed” for the day.

The Total Money Makeover: Classic Edition: A Proven Plan for Financial Fitness

This sort of reminds me of one of financial adviser Dave Ramsey’s tools. He recommends that people pay off their smaller bills first, so they can gain a feeling of accomplishment at being able to see their progress. A lot of financial advisers say to pay off your bills in order of highest interest rate, so you save money on interest, but Ramsey claims it’s more important to get the joy of watching your progress as you cut out the bills. I think there’s something to that. It’s easy to lose hope and give up a bit when you aren’t seeing clear rewards.

Much in the same way, you can give yourself a pat on the back by reminding yourself what good things you’ve accomplished each day…which motivates you to keep going the next day. At least it’s working for me! It’s always more positive and inspirational to focus on the pros instead of the cons. Even if you don’t actually write down what you did, just take a moment to think it over in your head. For example, I did some major house cleaning this weekend–not just the regular things, but little details as well. At the end of the day, I looked around, thought about everything I did, and felt really good about my progress. It reminded me that, even though I am super busy, I CAN do this! I can do all of my “work” work and all of my house work and all of my mom work. And, I can end my day with a sense of achievement.

Reallionaire: Nine Steps to Becoming Rich from the Inside Out
I’ve been reading a lot lately about the importance of having a mentor or a life coach, as well as a good network to help you get on a good career path. It’s something I’ve never though of before, because I thought I could just work really hard and be independent to get ahead. I’m quickly learning that it’s not so easy, and that the viewpoints and help from others can really help launch us into the right direction.

I bought this book Reallionaire: Nine Steps to Becoming Rich from the Inside Out a while back because the story sounded really impressive! The author claims that he was a millionaire before he turned 14, and he has a long list of major companies and networks that recommend his books and commend his achievements. Wow! Now that is someone I can learn from, right? After doing some internet searches, I’m learning that his background story might be a little shaky, so I’m reading the book with a critical eye; however, even if the stories are exaggerated, there are some good tips that I have heard from other recognized professionals and career coaches. Judging by his Facebook followers and book sales, he’s doing something right!

One of the book’s chapters is specifically about building a mentoring team, and a later  chapter is about networking, which is another career idea I’m reading a lot about lately. One of my favorite career advice sites Classy Career Girl promotes the same ideas and that writer’s background is really impressive as well, (and verified.) I hope to take one of her coaching courses one day, because she really knows what she is doing. She emphasizes the power of networking, and Gray in particular writes about his mentor who helped him get started and pointed him in the wrong direction. When Gray was a kid, he used to call his mentor for help and advice–and that advice helped make him rich without taking anything other than time from a mentor who was happy to help him. So between these two writers, as well as other sources, I’m really starting to see how important mentors and networking are–far more helpful than just throwing out resumes and trying to do everything alone.

Some ideas I’m learning that never crossed my shy, independent mind before:

It’s okay to reach out and ask for advice or help.

It’s good to reach out and find others who can work with you towards inter-working goals.

It’s smart to watch what your career idols do and learn from them.

It doesn’t hurt to ask.

So much of moving ahead in your career and your life is about learning from others, working with others, and helping others. But, it’s important to get out there and learn from the right people who are connected where you want to be connected. If I want to be a movie star, then networking with UPS drivers, or seeking advice from a math teacher might not help so much.

So, I’ve been trying this with others who are working in areas to where I want to work. I started reaching out to people that I admire, and sincerely letting them know how helpful they were, and what I appreciated about their work. I let one person know that I enjoyed her insight, and asked a couple others to help share the word about the home business I’m trying to get off the ground. It worked! I saw a HUGE difference in my business views and revenue. And it was all sincere. I didn’t go looking for someone to help me. I reached out to others whose ideas I was already a fan of. I basically opened my mouth to express my positive thoughts instead of keeping them to myself. What a learning experience! Plus, I feel good, as though I’m part of a community.

Since I’m naturally shy and introverted, asking for help and turning to others is foreign to me, but I’m really seeing and believing how important it is. There are paths to success out there, and it’s so important to be open-mined to learning from others who went before us or are going the same way now.