Author Archives: lifeasyoumakeit

The importance of a good support system for your mental health

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Click here to purchase Safe People: How to Find Relationships That Are Good for You and Avoid Those That Aren’t
I am currently reading this book, and while I haven’t finished yet, (and I still want to review the book when I get done,) I specifically wanted to share an interesting section I read last night. In chapter five, the authors discuss the relation between certain medical issues that often relate to stress in one’s life. This includes: chronic headaches, stomach problems, poor immunity and weight issues. I am familiar with a lot of information and studies related to this issue, but the authors shared an fascinating example that stood out to me.

There is a town in Pennsylvania called Roseto that was known for people having especially high life expectancy for many years. Research showed that they ate and exercised like the rest of the United States, but the reason for their long lives was their strong relationships. The town was originally built by immigrants who were very close-knit and interconnected. According to the book, “friendships lasted through generations” because the families were so close and their connections and loyalty were so strong. Very impressive!

The town was re-studied in the 1990s, and things had changed. The close relationships had drifted apart as new people moved in and old families moved away. Neighbors didn’t all know each other like they had in the past. Now their life expectancies are no different from the rest of the country.

I think this is an excellent example of how important a good support system and connections with positive people are. We need loving, caring, listening people in our lives to help us cope and thrive with others around us. This inspires me to get out and work on my good friendships!

Here are some more research articles about Roseto:
This article shows that heart attack rates were low, but then rose as relationships fell apart. It compares Roseto with another town called Bangor.

Here is an outline tracing Roseto’s history for a college class.

This article includes other studies that show that people who are alone tend to have shorter life spans.

Posted in Good Moods, Health, Recommended Books, Relationships

You as YOU make you–the Kardashians and the power of transformation

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You as you make you

You as you make you

Like many of us, I know much more about the Kardashians than I would like to know. I see posts about them in my Facebook newsfeed, and they look so outrageous, I end up looking at the articles. What strikes me most, is they must have to wear huge amounts of make-up and spend huge amounts of time to look like the characters they play. Personally, I’d rather be doing more interesting things, but what I find intriguing is that they completely transform themselves into different people in order to play a part and create income. They prove that you can be as YOU make you.

Kylie Jenner before and after from thegloss.com

Kylie Jenner before and after from thegloss.com

In older photos, they look like typical teenaged girls, but in recent photos, even the “baby” of the family is different. Yes, a lot of this is due to plastic surgery, butt injections, lip injections, and who knows what else, but some of it is just careful make-up and strategic eyebrow waxing. I write a lot about transforming one’s attitude and mind, but what about your body? It’s how actual stars and faux stars make a living. Arched eyebrows, plumped lips, contoured cheek bones, glossy hair extensions, long false eye-lashes…. and several hours later, a Kardashian goes from typical female to cartoon character.

Kim Kardashian before and after from Hollywoodlife.com

Kim Kardashian before and after from Hollywoodlife.com

I’m no fan, but I do realize that this family of women, who haven’t actually done any form of work, have created a multi-million dollar empire simply by transforming and selling themselves. What does that say for us? It says we all have the capability of doing the same. These women are just as naturally pretty as the rest of us. In older photos, you can see that none of them were glamorous. Cute or pretty, yes, but not bombshells. And I’ll bet now, underneath the make-up/masks, they look very different. They are a public example that, if we wanted to transform our bodies and create new selves, it wouldn’t be out of reach. Yes the procedures would be pricey, but just the make-up and working out can go a long way.

Marilyn Monroe before and after from celebrityplasticsurgeryxp.com

Marilyn Monroe before and after from celebrityplasticsurgeryxp.com

Look at other transformed women like Norma Jean…I mean Marilyn Monroe. She went from normal girl to bombshell–just by remaking herself and creating an image. She just made herself into this new, bigger-than-life creature that was so different from her original self. You can look at old photos of many actresses and see how very typical they looked before they physically made themselves into the women they wanted to be. Many success authors speak of creating an image for yourself–a brand that you can sell–and these women take it to the extreme. But, they also demonstrate the selling power of transformation and creating an image. It’s something to think of. Perhaps there is something you can learn from the Kardashians 😉

Posted in Just Thinking..., Self-Improvement

Reputations and learning from people with good, (or bad,) reputations

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So I’m reading this book again:
Click here to purchase 365 Ways to Become a Millionaire: (Without Being Born One)

I am still not a millionaire! But, I keep the book by my bed and I read through a little bit every few nights. Last night, I found a tip that really resonated with me. Number 102 says “If you want to see how powerful a reputation is, write down the reputations of several people you know personally. It will become clear why people either are attracted to them or avoid them.”

This is part of the chapter about building and protecting your reputation because it is the most important part of your career or business. I thought I’d like to take this one step further. I want to make a list of what is good and bad about those people’s or companies’ reputations, and learn lessons from them. Why is one person well-liked and another despised? Why is one person successful while the other one is stuck in a dead-end job. I know from experience that working hard is not necessarily the key to being promoted. There is more to it and I want to do what the successful people are doing and learn from them!

Posted in Career, Just Thinking..., Reaching Goals, Recommended Books, Self-Improvement

Yes, I love Amazon….Another perk!

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I know. I talk about how great Amazon is all the time. But I love it! I’m a Prime member, so I get free two-day shipping on all Prime-eligible items–which is pretty much all books, movies and music plus so many other things. I use their free app to download eBooks, I use their Amazon Mom and subscribe and save and more. But, there’s another perk I’m using these days…. Free digital credits! These credits are good towards movie, music and eBook downloads.

So how do you get them? Well, if you have Amazon Prime, you normally get free two-day shipping on Prime items. Every time you place an order and choose *not* to use your free two-day shipping, you get a $1 digital credit. Your shipping is still free, but you get that credit for not using the faster delivery. I order a lot of things on Amazon, so I love the free shipping option with my Prime account, but I don’t always need the items immediately. If I can wait, I take the credit. And I use it to buy more eBooks! (YAY!) I hate driving to the store, so I use Amazon for everything I can. Nearly everything is cheaper too, with the Subscribe and Save program. Diapers just show up at my door and I don’t have to lug them in and out of the car. I love that 🙂

Posted in Products That Really Work!

Success and happiness start with your thoughts!

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Click here to purchase The Power of Positive Thinking

You can never overestimate the power of a positive attitude. There are dozens of self-help books about the benefits of positivity! Not only does it put you in a good mood, but it gets you in the right frame of mind to feel motivated to meet your goals, and it makes you more appealing to others who can help you meet those goals. Some authors go so far as to say we subconsciously attract the things we think about. No matter what, it is certain that your thoughts determine your happiness and your ability to succeed in life. Good or bad things happen to all of us, but it is our reactions to those things that determines where we end up. So many great authors and rags-to-riches entrepreneurs emphasize the power of positivity and determination. I think we can all learn from successful people and what they have to share with us. I want to share some quotes and pretty pictures to help us focus on reaching our goals–no matter what they are 🙂

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERA

Believe you can and you’re halfway there–Theodore Roosevelt

Sunflower Field with setting Sun in Background, nice Sunburst and Sunbeams

Change your thoughts and you change your world. –Norman Vincent Peale

 

laymisuccessstarfish

What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality. Plutarch

What we achieve inwardly will change outer reality.
Plutarch

The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be. –Ralph Waldo Emerson

The only person you are destined to become is the person you decide to be. –Ralph Waldo Emerson

 

Posted in Inspiring Quotes, Reaching Goals, Recommended Books

Colgate Optic White Toothbrush and Whitening Pen review

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When it comes to finding success, being respected by others and respecting yourself, good teeth matter. No matter how unfair it might be, people judge us by our appearance and our dental health. It’s important to make dental care a priority and an investment because it’s probably going to come back to you in the form of higher paying jobs and better networking connections!
As part of my investment in my teeth, I’ve been using the Colgate Optic White line of teeth whitening products. I’ve had great results with the toothpaste and the mouth rinse, so when I saw the ads for the new whitening pen, I wanted to try it too! I have one area that has “problem teeth” for me because the two teeth are pretty close together, so I take extra care when flossing between them. I noticed that area was not getting as white as the rest of my teeth, so I thought the whitening pen might be a good way to spot touch up.

According to the package, I should see results in two days if I use the pen twice a day. Well, I was a bit lazy on a couple days and only used it once a day…but now several days later, I definitely see a difference. That one weirdo spot is evening out to match the rest…yay!

With this set, you get an unusual toothbrush and the gel pen that fits into the handle of the toothbrush. The brush is different because, instead of having all bristles, it has some stubby rubber stems that are textured on the top and are meant to polish your teeth. When you first use the brush, it feels kind of weird, and you can feel the nubs squeaking against your teeth. But, I really like the brush. Sometimes after I brush thoroughly, I still have pockets where my toothbrush bristles leave food behind–especially on my gum line in the back. That does not happen with this brush, which is nice. In fact, I think I like the brush more than the whitening pen!

The whitening pen comes after you brush. Basically, you twist the cap a couple turns to release some gel, and then use the built-in rubber top to coat your teeth. The gel paints right on and seals to your teeth. The package says not to rinse it off. (It looks a bit weird, so I wouldn’t use it right before going out or anything.)

Overall, I don’t think the results are as dramatic as the mouth rinse or the toothpaste, but I’d buy it again just for the neat toothbrush and the ability to spot whiten.

Click here to purchase the Colgate Optic White Toothbrush Plus Whitening Pen, Compact Head Soft (colors may vary )

Posted in Products That Really Work!

Five things to remember when you are having a rough time

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Surround yourself with beauty!

Surround yourself with beauty!

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

God grant me the serenity to accept the things I cannot change, the courage to change the things I can and the wisdom to know the difference.

Don't dwell on painful memories. Replace them with hope for the future!

Don’t dwell on painful memories. Replace them with hope for the future!

Don't waste your time worrying. It won't make a difference.

Don’t waste your time worrying. It won’t make a difference.

Focus on the BRIGHT things in life!

Focus on the BRIGHT things in life!

Posted in Good Moods, Inspiring Quotes

Dating Mr Darcy–The Smart Girl’s Guide to Sensible Romance by Sarah Arthur

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Click here to purchase Dating Mr. Darcy

This book offers some really good, sensible advice for choosing a spouse–based on examples from the relationship between Elizabeth Bennet and Mr. Darcy in Jane Austen’s beloved novel Pride and Prejudice. I’m a big fan of both Austen and that book so I thought this sounded like a fun and interesting book to read. While it does offer good ideas for encouraging a compatible, mature relationship, I found it to be a bit simplified and really religious. That doesn’t mean there is nothing of value in it, but you have to pick and choose which parts can help you and which ones can’t. I would not recommend this book to someone who is an atheist or who doesn’t have at least some Christian beliefs, because religious growth is central to the book and it ends with a strong emphasis on building your relationship with God so that you can better relate to others.

The reason I say the book is simplified is because the author gives tips on making the most of your relationship with family members that may be annoying and dysfunctional. She doesn’t explore the reality that some families are *too* broken to fit with her advice. Her point of view is very much that of a woman who grew up in an idyllic home. (I did not, so it’s hard for me to relate and I will be skipping her much of her advice related to family.) But of course, many people do grow up in happy homes, so those sections will be more helpful for them. She focuses on the idea that our families set the tone for how we will relate to a future lover, which is often true, but doesn’t leave room for other circumstances, (say, a parent who is an addict or dangerous for some reason.)

Now, done complaining and moving on to the good! This is indeed a very sensible book. I have a theory that we have so many failed marriages today because of popular movies and music tricking us into thinking love is always romantic and easy. Well, it’s not. And the dashing romantic date is not necessarily the one that will make a good partner. In this book of dating advice, Sarah Arthur focuses on emotional intelligence and qualities that will last once the initial sex-appeal wears off. People who follow her advice probably are very level-headed people who make wise marriage decisions. For example, she says we need to examine our romance and ask ourselves “are you personally maintaining a healthy sense of your own identity, particularly when it comes to your family, friends, and faith?…Do you have a clear understanding of who this guy really is when it comes to his family, friends, and faith?” (p. xvii.) And this is really the main idea of the book. We need to nurture our relationships with our family, friends and God and watch those same relationships with the men we are interested in.

Overall, this is a thoughtful and introspective book, but it’s fun and light-hearted with lots of references to and examples from Pride and Prejudice.

The section titles are:

Part One: Pressure and Promiscuity

Part Two: Family–Respect, Communication, Integrity

Part Three: Friends–Communication, Respect, Loyalty

Part Four: Faith–Righteousness, Grace

Part Five: The Art of Reflection–Solitude, Self-Analysis, Confession, Moving Forward

Posted in Dating, Recommended Books, Relationships

Poor Boundaries in Fifty Shades of Grey

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Click here to purchase Fifty Shades of Grey

So, like many other women, (and probably men too!) I read Fifty Shades of Grey. I can absolutely see why it might seem sexy and romantic. Who doesn’t want a hot billionaire? But, I was reading it from the point of view of someone who wants to build boundaries for successful, equal relationships, so I found Anastasia Steele’s poor boundaries very frustrating! For those who aren’t familiar, Ana and Christian are the female and male leads. She’s a naive virgin, (well, that is she *was* a virgin,) and he’s a sexy, controlling billionaire. She wants a relationship with him, but he wants to dominate her entire life and practice BDSM without a standard relationship. A lot of people think the situation is abusive–not because of the BDSM, but because of many other issues which include his stalking her, getting jealous of her male friends and invading her space when she tries to take a break to think things over.

What struck me is that throughout this entire book Ana wants Christian to be a different man for her, but because he cannot and will not change, she accepts a lot of things she doesn’t like just to be with him in hopes that he will become the romantic man she really wants and give her a real relationship. How many of us have done that? Stuck with someone that can’t give us what we want because they are so attractive or sexy that we hope they will come around to our points of view? Frankly, that’s a waste of time. It isn’t fair to try to change someone and it’s not fair to ourselves to give up what we want and need for all the wrong reasons. You just can’t love someone enough to turn them into a different person!

Over and over, Ana thinks to herself that Christian is arrogant, controlling, crazy, freaky, abusive, psycho and more. She says he scares her, that she should run from him, and she admits that he is not good for her…but then says she is going to go along with his demands anyway because she’s in love with him. Argghhhh!!! Ladies, if you have been this woman…don’t! Don’t do a bunch of things you don’t want to do with someone you think is crazy just because there’s sexual chemistry. And honestly, that’s about all they have in common in the book. That’s just not enough for a relationship. And who wants a confusing relationship where you are always on the verge of leaving anyway? If you are spending most of your time worrying that your “boyfriend” is a weirdo who doesn’t even want to be your boyfriend, it might be time to find a real boyfriend!

Several times in the book, Ana feels sorry for Christian and feels angry that he was introduced to sex and BDSM as a teenager with an older woman. Ana sees him as a sad, broken victim. Yet another red flag. Relationships shouldn’t be about pitying the other person, trying to fix them or trying to love their inner demons away. That’s more like codependency.

I’ve hung on to people who didn’t want the same things I wanted or who made me miserable with hopes that I could change them or get them to see the light. It doesn’t happen. It’s just wasting your time when you could move along to find the person who does want what you want. (And doesn’t stalk you or sell your car against your wishes!)

All through the book, (even the steamy sex scenes,) I kept wanting to yell “Ana, go find a guy who isn’t broken and wants what you want instead of giving up your emotional needs to fix someone!” Helping people is fine, but relationships should not be fixer-upper situations.

Posted in Boundaries, Just Thinking..., Relationships
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